Come what may ... I trust Him

Jan.29th is court date! We are waiting as Ethiopia gives us a thumbs up or a thumbs down on being the parents to 4 children in the continent of Africa. I ask that you pray for us, that God will have His way. If there is any question or doubt on their behalf I pray God's perfect will. I do not own these children... these children belong to God. I am His imperfect vessel... bringing them to Him who is the perfect Father. Pray for these children's mothers and their family, pray for these children, pray for us. We all need the Father and we bow before Him, relinquishing our hearts to His divine purpose on earth. I can trust Him. He is true to His Word. He will never let me down. He will never give me more than I can endure. His love is everlasting. His promises will be fulfilled. I can do nothing without Him. I will not fear for He has given me the power of Love that conquers even death. I will see His glory through this. Oh how could I lose with such a One? 'Bless the Lord oh my soul, oh my soul, everything within me bless the Lord' Cindy

God still speaks

This says it all. Jeff and I were heading out on one of our dates. He was driving and we were worshipping as we drove and I was asking God what is your will? How do we help the orphans? Do you want us adopting? What about these three sisters? ... and are these the three? I was a bit in turmoil over "What is the perfect will of God?" So I opened my Bible to 2 Corinthians Chapter 1 Verses 17 to 22.
"As surely as God is faithful, our word to you has not been Yes and No. For the Son of God, Jesus Christ whom we preached among you, Silvanus and Timothy and I,was not Yes and No; but in Him it is always Yes. For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him. That is why we utter the Amen through Him, to the glory of God. But it is God who establishes us with you in Christ,and has commissioned us; He has put His seal upon us and given us His Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee."
It hit me... in God it's always Yes, it's Yes, Cindy!!! because it is for His Glory. It is God who has established me and He has commissioned me. He has put His seal on me and gave me His Spirit in my heart as a guarantee. Wow!!! I can be confident that He is speaking to me and telling me that it is His will that I adopt and that I can know that He is all over this thing!!! I want His Glory to shine like a bright light in a darkened world. One mere act such as adoption can be that. Can you be confident that His Spirit is in your heart, that He has set His seal upon you, that He has commissioned you to do this, that the promises of God are always Yes! Can I encourage you to trust God with answers to your doubts or fears -- believe me, He's not bothered by them! He wants to establish Himself in me to a greater measure.
Later that day as I was walking down the store aisle I said to myself ... 3 girls seems like alot of kids at once; Cindy, are you sure you heard right? I then looked out the corner of my eye and saw a long wooden block with the word 'Blessing' written across it, and inside was a space for 3 candles ... I knew that I knew it was God.
He was reminding me that children are a blessing, and that we are getting three more blessings. I was amazed how He wanted to comfort my fears and remind me of the truth He spoke to my heart earlier that day.
Isn't God just wonderful? Don't ya just luv Him? Cindy

P.S. I took a pix of that candle holder but cannot find it, I wanted it as a reminder of God's faithfulness to me on that day.

Court > it's a Sad Sorta Happy < Date

Everyone looks forward to court date -- after all, it's the time that everything becomes official -- at least officially yours. I, however, don't feel tons of glee or like jumping up and down or shouting to the roof tops. Maybe because I'm not adopting the baby I always wanted and couldn't birth? Or is it because I'm an old fart who's willing to wait patiently for court? I think neither. Because, you see, court date is a sad/happy day for me.

It all started about 19 years ago when my husband and I were a young couple. We had our first-born son who was over a year old. That same time my younger sister, who was single and pregnant, had an unplanned pregnancy and knew that adoption would be in the baby's best interest(believe me this was not an easy decision). She stayed with us throughout her pregnancy, and I was able to help her through this valley called adoption. She was able to get some solid pre-adoption counselling to prepare her emotionally for the adoption process, which to this day my sister says sustained her. God miraculously worked out an open adoption through Ann Kiemel/Anderson(well known author/speaker)where we were able to meet the adoptive couple. This was so helpful to my sister, as they were Christians and prayed with her throughout the delivery.

I remember it was a sunny day walking to the court building, chatting away in small talk as if this huge cloud wasn't hanging over us.
The judge called my sister to the stand, and there she sat in front of the judge as she was asked the hard question. She verbally had to relinquish her right to be the mother of this beautiful baby just born to her a few days ago. It was so sad, we all wept with tears of sorrow. The whole thing hurt so bad, and it will never, ever, be forgotten. Yet....we all knew it was what the little baby needed. My sister's action was nothing more than perfect Love.... She was not in a position to raise this wee one, and she gave life to this sweet babe. Relinquishment is one of the hardest yet most unselfish acts a birth mom could do. In a perfect world this would never be necessary, but we live in a fallen world, and that's why it hurts.

Back now to the present.... Court date is here, and looking at the clock in Ethiopia time, I began to picture two mothers (one belongs to the 3 girls and one to the boy)signing away their legal rights to me and my husband before the judge in Ethiopia. I can't help but feel a wave of sorrow come over me for these precious mothers. They gave life, and I am blessed to cultivate it. I am happy that they will be our children because I don't want them living in an orphanage for the rest of their lives, or worse yet out on the streets. Yet it's grieving to live in a world where mothers cannot keep their daughters due to poverty and where mothers cannot keep their little boys because of AIDS - a death sentence, without medical intervention. It really is a hard thing to think about, I know, because I remember my sister and how she felt. I pressed into this grief and began praying for the birth moms of my children. I cried out to God for their injustices. I saw sorrow in their children's eyes, and I knew they were grieving inside too. I will remember the cost and never take it for granted. These are 4 little gifts given to me by 2 sacrificial moms -- how beautiful is that!?
I know, because it breaks my heart - Cindy

Grant Money Writing ugh!!!!

It's a blessing that there are organizations that help people with adoption costs. Yet, as always, there's too much need and never enough to go around. The catcher is "if you qualify" or "if you are chosen". So we began to see "if" we could find some places that say we satisfy their "ifs" -- that would help us out financially. The big kicker in our particular adoption is that we will have to purchase 6 international plane fares costing thousands of dollars total. Oh, if only we could be like those eagles that the Bible speaks about! Any gifts or airfare helps would really be a needed blessing. Everything being legal of course:)
Anyways, getting back to the subject of grant applications; there's forms to fill out and papers to write and rewrite, info to find, and words to be well-chosen. It's kinda like going back to college, drinking tons of coffee and writing those wonderful research papers. Except this time it has way more value because it's about children that we're writing for. These children have a hope because somebody said, "I'll take you and do what I can to give you a family and place to call home." Now that, my friends, is something worth writing about:) Wouldn't you agree? - Cindy -