Court > it's a Sad Sorta Happy < Date

Everyone looks forward to court date -- after all, it's the time that everything becomes official -- at least officially yours. I, however, don't feel tons of glee or like jumping up and down or shouting to the roof tops. Maybe because I'm not adopting the baby I always wanted and couldn't birth? Or is it because I'm an old fart who's willing to wait patiently for court? I think neither. Because, you see, court date is a sad/happy day for me.

It all started about 19 years ago when my husband and I were a young couple. We had our first-born son who was over a year old. That same time my younger sister, who was single and pregnant, had an unplanned pregnancy and knew that adoption would be in the baby's best interest(believe me this was not an easy decision). She stayed with us throughout her pregnancy, and I was able to help her through this valley called adoption. She was able to get some solid pre-adoption counselling to prepare her emotionally for the adoption process, which to this day my sister says sustained her. God miraculously worked out an open adoption through Ann Kiemel/Anderson(well known author/speaker)where we were able to meet the adoptive couple. This was so helpful to my sister, as they were Christians and prayed with her throughout the delivery.

I remember it was a sunny day walking to the court building, chatting away in small talk as if this huge cloud wasn't hanging over us.
The judge called my sister to the stand, and there she sat in front of the judge as she was asked the hard question. She verbally had to relinquish her right to be the mother of this beautiful baby just born to her a few days ago. It was so sad, we all wept with tears of sorrow. The whole thing hurt so bad, and it will never, ever, be forgotten. Yet....we all knew it was what the little baby needed. My sister's action was nothing more than perfect Love.... She was not in a position to raise this wee one, and she gave life to this sweet babe. Relinquishment is one of the hardest yet most unselfish acts a birth mom could do. In a perfect world this would never be necessary, but we live in a fallen world, and that's why it hurts.

Back now to the present.... Court date is here, and looking at the clock in Ethiopia time, I began to picture two mothers (one belongs to the 3 girls and one to the boy)signing away their legal rights to me and my husband before the judge in Ethiopia. I can't help but feel a wave of sorrow come over me for these precious mothers. They gave life, and I am blessed to cultivate it. I am happy that they will be our children because I don't want them living in an orphanage for the rest of their lives, or worse yet out on the streets. Yet it's grieving to live in a world where mothers cannot keep their daughters due to poverty and where mothers cannot keep their little boys because of AIDS - a death sentence, without medical intervention. It really is a hard thing to think about, I know, because I remember my sister and how she felt. I pressed into this grief and began praying for the birth moms of my children. I cried out to God for their injustices. I saw sorrow in their children's eyes, and I knew they were grieving inside too. I will remember the cost and never take it for granted. These are 4 little gifts given to me by 2 sacrificial moms -- how beautiful is that!?
I know, because it breaks my heart - Cindy